Cower in fear mere mortal for here, coming straight from beelzebubs backside we have the satanic sampling borg teddy. If like us, you enjoy nothing better than scaring the shit out of small children, with the added bonus of some horribly low bit rate sampling thrown in for added filth then you have come to the right place

The mighty borg teddy is made from a rather sickeningly cute valentines day teddy bear which, for some unknown reason incorporates a very low resolution sampler. Hold the bears left paw and you can record a short message with the built in mic. You can then play the sample back by squeezing the right paw, at least thats the theory. With a few additions we have turned this beast into the ultimate circuitbenders valentines gift.

The main new feature is the sampler pitch knob implanted in the back of the head. This controls the speed of the sample playback and also sets the sampling rate when recording. Interesting sounds can be produced by sampling with the pitch up full so you only get milliseconds of sampling time and them playing back at the lowest setting. The most innocent of sounds suddenly turn into the end of the world, caused by terminal flatulence.

The switch in the back of the head switches between the external line input and the internal mic input.

The two jack sockets that replace the eyes (we know its sinister but how can you resist?) are a line input and a line output. It's very easy to overload the line input and its not exactly 'hiss free' CD quality recording but then we'd be disappointed if it was

For mp3's of the kind of dismembered noise this nasty little beasty produces click on the demos below.